There's Gold In Them There Streets

Far be it from me to criticise the way people dress, considering that I wear shorts and a Billabong/Quiksilver T-shirt on a daily basis from January to December and have done so for the last two decades, with the exception of when I attend football matches, where I have often been fortunate enough to sit in the “posh seats” so I reluctantly don a suit and proudly produce my club tie, even on the rare occasions that London has been blighted by snow or Reading Festival has turned into a quagmire with mud fights proving more popular than many of the bands, I have remained in said shorts and just complemented them with wellington boots, so I am far from what by any stretch of the imagination could be deemed a style icon. However, anyone who lives in London would have to be either a hermit or visually impaired not to have noticed the growth of Hi Vis vest/jackets on the capital’s streets. It would come as no surprise to me whatsoever, if when all 200,000 of these Day-Glo wearing, builders, cyclists, van drivers, postmen etc etc walk onto the streets on a sunny morning they gave off a glow that can clearly be seen from Mars. The more I contemplate it the more likely it seems to me than no longer will UFO pilots crash their ships in remote U.S. deserts, instead they will make a b-line for the Metropolis convinced that our streets are paved with gold. But wait, these are no crass fashion accessories given away at McDonalds in an attempt to sell the backbone of Britain a double sausage and egg in a muffin, Hi-Vis jackets are here to save lives. Given that there is barely a street that doesn’t contain several wearers, Britain must now be one of the safest countries in the world, and it can only be a matter of time before A&E departments have a greater problem with tumbleweed than 6 hour queues, the waiting list for great Aunt Bessie to have her hip transplant will also be reduced, soon, she may even be able to choose the day of her preferred operation, so as not to clash with whist drive at the W.I. whilst junior doctors will eventually have their hours cut by two thirds enabling them to get out onto the streets during the hours of daylight to send a message to Mars like the rest of us.